"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."
Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
