Law jokes
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
Memes
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, βI donβt like your friends.β
Then Jeff says, βYou can eat the potatoes.β
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they canβt be wanted.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
"Stupidity isnβt a crime, so youβre free to go."
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.