Law jokes
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
It's okay, you had socks on :)
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
What is the difference between the human rights act and a home?
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!