Law jokes
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
I figure it's ok to hit orphans.
What are they gonna do? Go tell their parents?
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
Memes
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Why are half the orphans missing? Because I took them, of course! :]
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Why did the orphan play GTA? So he could get wanted.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?