Laughter jokes
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An interrupting cow.
And inter-moo!
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing boeing boeing.
A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”
St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.
St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.
Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ya.
Ya who?
Yahooooo!!!
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
Because they cut deep.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.