What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
