Last jokes

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

I met a gay guy last night.

Man, was he a pain in the ass.

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.