Last jokes
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.