Last jokes
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Yo mama so fat, the last time she 90210 was on a scale.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.