Last jokes
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
Memes
When ur watching the two fat girls fighting over the last donut
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
Nothing lasts long these days!
As Confucius says, "Hare today, gone tomorrow!"
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
What were Princess Diana's last words?
Have you been Dri...?
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!