Last Jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦁🦁🦁🐩🐖🐒🐷🐵🐎+/;!¥/%? Fuckfuckfuuk of your own is also a joke about your relationship with Google and Twitter users who don't know what they think of their own personal life, and the way they have been involved since the last few years of debate is the only thing.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

The image shows a man with a German hat and a German flag painted on his cheek looking stressed. Next to him is Angela Merkel smiling. The text on the image reads, "When you're german and haven't had a beer in the last 5 minutes."

A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

"My paternal uncle died three months ago."

"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My maternal uncle died two months ago."

"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My father died last month."

"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"

Going in a military.

The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"

Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).

She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

Her last name starts with a and ends with d and the middle letters are poo

shout out to johnny4488 for commenting on my last post!!!

WHTA WAS STEPHEN HAWKINS LAST MEAL? HIS LEFT SHOULDER

You're so skinny you're a thin stick You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean you became the Pacific Ocean You're so ugly you got stuff for free You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti you thought it was throw up You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth You are so gay you kiss the boy last night

i will remember my brothers last words: if you cant put a fork in a toaster how about a spoon

I still remember my dads last words you cunt you let the ladder go you cuuunt smack he hit the grond and bled out

you know how girls say i whould have sex with u if u were the last person on earth well whos gonna stop me

Ok,ok who is trying to be my "long lost brother" because last time i checked I didn't have any sisters or brothers so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up a lot of other people already know u are fake so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!