Last will jokes
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Memes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
What's ALS?
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣
Student: Why does everyone hate me?
Another student: Because U got the A last night.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
I had a dream I was a muffler last night...
I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.