Last Will Jokes

What was Stephen Hawking's last words? What's ALS?

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bombers mind? His arse.

i was going to make alligator last night but i noticed i only have a crockpot🤣

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly I took one shot puffed through my pipe and jumped in the air on a trampoline I woke up in heaven. I asked an angel how did I die you? "Well little monkey you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head your mom called the doctor and doctor said you were dead.

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

Ill never forget my grampa's last words, "stop shaking the ladder you cunt"

My name is shelly bobby... I don't know my last name.

So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted

What did the blonde say when someone says "Your baby is so cute"?

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

Q:What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney love before he died? A: “holes gonna be big”

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: mom next year for the carnival can I dress up as a princess? the mother replies: why? you don't like the ice lolly dress from the last year?

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late". Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON !!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need Bianaca?

Bianca: Its Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?

I had a dream I was a muffler last night.... I woke up EXHAUSTED 😂😃

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, 'Parking Fine'

Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught, having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

Yo mama so short, when it rains she’s the last to know!

There are 4 people ona plane while its crashing and there are only 3 parachutes theres opera, Obama a little girl and, Trump opera grabs. Parachute and says, "I'm famous i get one" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well im president of cource i get one" and obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since your the future or our generation take the last one" the little girl hugs obama and says, "Actually we can both have one Trump took my backpack"