Last will jokes

Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.

It's still printing.

Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.

Guy: Robin

Bank owner: Your last name?

Guy: Debank

Bank owner: Robin Debank?

Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?

Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?

The knee caps.

I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.

Why don't we have female magicians?

'Cause the last ones got hanged.

Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

What's ALS?

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣

What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?

His arse.

What was the last thing that went through PH's head?

Water and smoke.

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!