Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.
Last Will Jokes
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
What's ALS?
Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?
Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!
Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?
Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?
Bianca: It's Bianca!
Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
I had a dream I was a muffler last night...
I woke up EXHAUSTED! 😂😃
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
