Language jokes
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
What do we find at the end of every rainbow?
The letter W.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
There are 25 letters in the alphabet, and yet I don't know why.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.