Language jokes
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
What language do Asian Karen’s speak?
Demandarin.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.