Language jokes
Is die?
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
Are you peeling well?
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"
My name is Gunter.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
I have a joke about doors, but you can't handle it!😂
Everyone says "no homo," why do gays not say "no hetero?"
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"