Language jokes
Wanna hear a long joke?
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!!!!
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Memes
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
Today, I invented a new word: "plagiarism."
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
What do we find at the end of every rainbow?
The letter W.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
What language do Asian Karen’s speak?
Demandarin.
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."