Language jokes
U geiy haha lol.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
Drawned.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Yesnt.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
You just made a Mist-ake.
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
What did 0 say to 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
What do you call James, James?
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.
Why did you say not to?
Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.
Shoot.