Language jokes
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
U geiy haha lol.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
Drawned.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Yesnt.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
You just made a Mist-ake.
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
What did 0 say to 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
What do you call James, James?
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!