Language jokes
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Wanna hear a joke about cheese? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "Daddy."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
I have (I HAVE) bolas.
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
Why are you dumb? Because you can’t find LOLA.
What do you call a?
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).