Language jokes

My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.

My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"

So I threw my dictionary at her.

What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"

What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?

A, B, C you in hell.

Why can't a blind person eat fish?

They can't see food.

Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

What letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.

A B C D E F G H I see a bitch in front of me.

What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?

Cantonese...

What is a gay person's favorite book?

The dictionary.

See the lies.

Why is there no phone in China?

Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.

How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

Change your name to "Rape."

A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.

Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

Can I ask you a question? Nut now!