Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”
I guess you could say, “harassment something.”
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.