Language Jokes

You soak balls, get it?

Why’s BBC called BBC?

The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-

I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Who."

"Who who?"

"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"

Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

Do you know Wildee?

What's that?

Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?

What is "moo becanira?"

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.

What can't an orphan spell?

Home.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

Russians be like: "bfddrhnnkhsaxbjk speak English!"

"Cummy Beynis. Hahaha?"

Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."

"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.

Shut the f*ck up.