If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
No way, Jose!
My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
Drawned.
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
You just made a Mist-ake.
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
