Language jokes
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.