Language jokes
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Sayo-nara.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Let me tell you a pun. Never mind, it's tearable.
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"
Dick.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.