Language jokes
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
What is the best thing about 28 year olds? There are 20 of them!
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
1 + 1 = window.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because seven eight (ate) nine.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.