Language jokes

I have 25 friends in the alphabet.

But I don't know why.

When you see a deer, what do you say?

"Oh deer!"

A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".

I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.

Sayo-nara.

What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?

A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.

I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.

A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

What do you call a cute door?

Adoorable.

What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?

Gracias.

What do you call a roach in milk?

A roach con leche. 😂

What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?

Rogue Juan.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Let me tell you a pun. Never mind, it's tearable.

I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.

I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.