Land jokes
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.
Kobe jokes just don’t land well anymore.
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
Where do people with no legs go to have fun?
Legnoland.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
I hate snow. It's white and on my land.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
That joke didn't land well, did it?
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?
Because they can actually land a home.