Know jokes
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"