Know jokes

Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?

A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?

A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.

So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"

The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"

The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."

My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?

Ohhh, an owner.

You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?

Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"

Do you know Imagine Dragons?

Yeah.

Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.

I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.

The twin towers: No, it won't.

You know, most people take rocks for granite... sorry.

Billy: "I'm so used to having you in bed with me, I don't know if I'm ready for this long-distance relationship."

Sally: "Ohh, don't worry brother, I'll just be right down the hall..."

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

Do you know Putin?

Put in these balls in your mouth.

Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?

Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.

You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.

I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."