Know jokes
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
I know 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don't know why.
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?
Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
You guys know BeReal?
BeReal? More like cereal.
Get it? BeReal = cereal.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
Because they don't know the way home!
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where the naughty girls live!
Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
Why do orphans hate Geometry?
Because it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
I know this is a very corny joke.
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.