Know jokes
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?
I don't know, you tell me.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹
That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹
"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!
Why are orphans bad at poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know what home is.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.