Back
Know

Know jokes

So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

  • 4

    • Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

    You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

    Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?

    Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

    You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

    Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

    Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

    Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

    But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

    You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

    Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

    But at least lemonade came out!

    Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?

    It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

    Did you know the Alabama Crimson Tide University has the most handicapped people? You know their motto, "Roll Tide."