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Know jokes

Three Vulcans walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."

The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."

The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.

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  • When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

    A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"

    The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

    "Yeah, that's the one!"

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  • A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

    He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

    "I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.

    The cop said, "But there is no traffic."

    And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

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  • My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

    Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"

    Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."

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  • An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."

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  • What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

    I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.

    There are 10 types of people in this world.

    Those that know binary and those that don't.