Know jokes

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!

What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah, that's the one!"

A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.

The cop said, "But there is no traffic."

And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"

Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."

He: "Do you smoke after sex?"

She: "I don't know. I've never looked."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you.

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those that know binary and those that don't.