Kitchen jokes
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only have a crockpot. 🤣
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was good at SERVING RHYMES.
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Where did the cake sleep on the stove?
In a pan.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.