Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
