i went down to my frigde to grab my dinner i said to the children whose next?
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
how do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
the wheel chair rises to the top
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
HOW DID A MAN KNOW HIS WIFE DIED DISHIS START PILIENG UP
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing? Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
i got a bowl of a rice that ur formed like and icecube
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?” Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!” Chef: “Why thank you.” Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!” Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
i was going to make alligator last night but i noticed i only have a crockpot🤣
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
My wife went to make a cake the recipe said separate two eggs so she put one egg in the living room
what is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender
Josh : What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called ??
Daniel : isn’t it the women ?
Josh : oh yes that’s right
Want to know how you make any salad into a ceasar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked "What does that mean?"
I said "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents? They cry... They scream.. with joy "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents" Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didnt live to tell the tail...
