Kitchen

Kitchen Jokes

A blind man went to a restaurant.

menu sir? asked the owner. I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and red and black and white and white and black and red and red and black and red and white and black and red and red and red and red?

A penguin in a blender.

What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board

“No I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken”.