Kitchen jokes
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
Memes
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
What did the rapper say to his microwave?
"Yo, heat it up, fam!"
How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?
The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the kitchen?
Because he kept dropping the BEETS!
What do you call a rapper who loves to cook?
A mixtape chef.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT MIXTAPES.
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!