Kitchen jokes
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
What do people often say in a cold Mexican kitchen?
Brrrrrrito!
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?
The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.
When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.
She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!