Kitchen jokes
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the kitchen?
Because he kept dropping the BEETS!
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...
After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D