Kind jokes
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A Christler.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
What kind of sex do priests love?.
Nun.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
What kind of band never plays music?
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.