What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
What kind of cars do mexicans drive? A Juanda
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
My dad is nice 👍
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
