Kind of jokes
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
What kind of videos can't orphans watch?
Family-friendly content.
Memes
CAKED ASS
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?
F-Juan Fifty.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"
What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.