Kind of Jokes

What kind of experience does a feminist have?

Being a bitch.

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls. They're under a buck.

When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.

Me watching a World War 2 documentary.

I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂

What kind of dreams do hotels have?

Suite dreams.

How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.

What kind of bees make milk?

BooBees.

What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

Proper-Tea.

What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?

Ones that contain nuts.

What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.

Daughter: Mommy?

Mom: Hey.

Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?

Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.

Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

What kind of star would go to jail?

A shooting star!

Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain.

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂