Kind of jokes
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)