What kind of dog can do magic tricks? -- A labracadabrador.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus _____
What kind of fish knows math? An anglerfish LOL
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zomBEE.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!
So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
