Killer Jokes

I bought a new camera once. Every shot I took was killer!

I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.

Helen Keller, more like hell 'n killer.

Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?

The orca Don-tist.

I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

Just.

Old.

Killer.

Epigrams.

What does a serial killer make for breakfast?

Scrambled legs and toes.

I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dumplin.

Dumplin who?

Dumplin the killer.

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.

No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.

Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.

I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.

A joke.

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?

A heartless killer.

I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.

Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.

I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.

Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.

Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!