Killer jokes
Just.
Old.
Killer.
Epigrams.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dumplin.
Dumplin who?
Dumplin the killer.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
A joke.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?
A heartless killer.
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
New horror movie idea. The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.