Killer jokes
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"
(B)
OKAY.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?
To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
It was just a big hunter killer drone.
Hey guys, I just wanna say what happened to Kanye; he is one of my favorite rappers, and he’s going through a hard time. I don’t see why people can’t just spread love and kindness like me💕
I think that Kanye was right to say what he said. I completely support him, and I don’t understand why people hate on him for using his 1st amendment, and Yeezy should be sued for it.
Quote of the day: Love bests hate as for hate is the killer of friendships - Collin Kaepernick
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
Wow, these jokes are lit.
Some might say even killer!
Why are planes the most dangerous killers?
Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
Nobody:
JFK: :) Hi guys!
JFK's killer: Ayo look at this shit, I just hit a clip.