Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
Yo mama so fat, she costs 15 elixir, and 3 inferno towers can't kill her!
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer? OJ couldn’t kill cancer
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
What do you call a bus full of kids, kills killstreak
No one.
Absolutely no one.
The History Channel at 11:00 PM: Who really killed JFK?
