Kill jokes

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

How does the non binary kill white en Amy?

They/them.

Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?

A: It's already done for you.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

How do non-binary people kill people?

They slash them.

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔

I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.

I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"

You know who deserves a medal? The guy who killed Hitler.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.

What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?

About 40 mph.

I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.

Nobody still wanted them.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

How do you kill a sheep?

You lamb shank it!

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.