Kill jokes
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
You know who deserves a medal? The guy who killed Hitler.
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
In a Kahoot, and you're the Twin Tower terrorist: terrorist kill streak 2,996.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.