Kill jokes
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Memes
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.