Kill Jokes

It's Me your boy

What do you call a white kid who kills another? Russia vs Ukraine hahaha

in Mathematician

4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. – 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.

That random dude

That one awkward moment you try to relate to batman by killing your parents.

in Depression

I will pay someone to kill me

in Depression

Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.

Armegedon Alia

When a asteroid is coming to kill us all: 98.9% of the population: OMG WERE ALL GONNA DIE 1% of the population: eh… I neber had any friends anyway. Alia: ROLL THE INTRO

in Hospital

There is a man in the hospital the power went out and the man was stabbed to death, there are three witnesses, the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who was at the vending machine, who killed the man? The mom did because you can’t use a vending machine when the powers out!

✨ y u m ✨
in Orphan

I just killed a family of five.

Now I’m an orphan


When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.


These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humour, they think of humour as like a happy thing because humour makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering, if I take a joke like , how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb, none they just beat the room for being black, now that joke isn’t make light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racial discriminated against, it’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind and that is important, humour at its best takes the bad thing in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny

And before you go in the comments and say i agree with rape, I don’t, I hope everybody who rapes someone to have there dick cut of, my little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

frog with mental problems
in Orphan

why does dark humor love orphans because the humor killed thier parents


So 2 kids argued and insulted each other…

KID 1: Your dad left because he didn’t want you so why don’t you kill yourself?

KID 2: Well your dad already killed himself because he didn’t want you.


I like my women like I like my microwaves Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her


Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your iq…

in Anti-jokes

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.

The American

3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three “You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren’t that heartless so we’ll let you choose your deaths.” So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said “Viva la France” and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said “For the queen” and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself “Try make a canoe out of this one!”

in Puns

What do you call a gun that doesn’t kill anyone? -a VEGUN


How to kill a blond put a scratch & sniff in a pool]

Your mom
in Difference

What’s the difference between issac Newton and the baby I just killed?

Issac Newton died a virgin!😎