Kids jokes

VOTING FINAL This vote is for the best School Shooter joke of the month.

LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

Vote for the better joke and the Joke of the Month will be announced in the comments tomorrow.

I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?

Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.

Kids in wheelchairs can't stand up for themselves if there's a bully.

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

Kid: Which were me, are your parents?

Orphan: What are parents?

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

Why do emo kids hate high fives?

They’re always left hanging.

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

Why did the disabled kid cross the road?

(Why?)

He can't.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.