Kids jokes
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?
The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!
Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the kid.
Why do emo kids not like trees? They always leave them hanging.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.