Kids jokes
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.
God, I love working at an orphanage!
These are bee puns.🐝
I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝
I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝
(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.