Kids jokes
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
Memes
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?