Kid jokes
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?
A: Don't leave me hanging!
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Memes
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.