
Kid jokes
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
how to kidnap kids
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
Ur mum geiy 69 dinner 42 es dee get rekt kid 360 quikskope biatch!
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
These are bee puns.🐝
I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝
I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝
(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!
