Kid jokes

You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.

Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?

'Cause they're dark.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?

A: Don't leave me hanging!

Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.

Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...

What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.

What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?

The final countdown.

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

What do Israel and Epstein have in common?

"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.

Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.