Kid jokes

What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?

The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)

The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)

Thanks for reading this...bye!

What's a deaf kid's favorite words?

"Shut up."

I always hated being born a Catholic as a kid. The way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over, and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church. I was always thinking, “For God’s sake, just pick a position and fuck me!”

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

I was watching my son play at the park, and a lady asked me, "Which one is yours?" And for fun, I said, "I don't know, I'm still choosing."

Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.

He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"

Friends = your power level.

Emo kid = power level: 0000.

What number is better; 46 or 47?

I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.

How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.

Kid: I want to be like Batman.

Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.

Genie: I told you.

Kid: .............................................

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.