Kid Jokes

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*

We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.

The image is a split-panel with two different situations. The top panel shows a person with sunglasses and a big smile and the text "Moms when they see someone they know from work." The bottom panel shows two images of a monkey looking shocked and the text "Kids when they see someone they know at school."

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?

To tie his kangaroo down, sport!

Why did the emo kid get mad?

I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.

A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"

The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.

What touches kids and is made out of plastic?

Michael Jackson, hee hee!

I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.

The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"