Kid jokes
"Look at these kids stealing ideas, bro. They're going to jail."
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!