Kid jokes
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.