Kid jokes
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"
So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.