Kid jokes

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?

The bird can fly off the roof.

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.

Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.

Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?

You looking a little square.

Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?

A boomerang.

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."