Kid jokes
Me: Hey, I have candy.
Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?
Me: Some of deez nuts.
Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"
The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
What do emo kids have in common with orphans?
They both depress'd on the inside.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my anus?"
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."