Kid jokes

Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!

The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?

He couldn't even open it.

Why couldn't the kid play on his laptop?

Because he has no arms and no laptop and no legs and no head and no home and no money and got shot.

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.