Kid jokes
Zach is a gay kid from Rob. Love you!
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
Popular kids: all girls are chopped. The popular kids:
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
What do you call your kids?
Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"
Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"
Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.
They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.
Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"