Kid jokes

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?

He couldn't even open it.

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?

A boomerang.