Kid jokes
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
So, two kids argued and insulted each other.
KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"
KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house to get to a tree and a house to get to the earth to get home 🏡? Day today I have to get my kids and oooooo.