Kid jokes
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
☠️☠️
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.