Kid jokes

Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"

The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.

The kid asked him again and so on.

Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

Kid: "I fucked your mom."

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?

One kid in eight dustbins.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Not your dad."

Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

The quiet kid says, "AK."

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?

The bird can fly off the roof.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...

What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?

Autistemist Prime.

These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.