Kid jokes

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.

How do you punish blind kids?

Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.

+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

What tree is every emo kid trying to find?

The hanging tree.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?

In-N-Out of kids.

It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.

Why?

Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

Nobody:

Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.