Kid jokes

What tree is every emo kid trying to find?

The hanging tree.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.

+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?

Official Dj Penaldo playlist.

1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

Nobody:

Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.