Kid jokes
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday? They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!
When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!
Later!
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.