Kid jokes
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
What's the difference between a bird and a kid on the roof?
The bird can fly off the roof.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Why is the gay kid gay?
Because he likes men.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
What do you call a kid with no home?
A homeless kid.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"
Me: Hey, I have candy.
Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?
Me: Some of deez nuts.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"
What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"
So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.
Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.