Kid jokes
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
☠️☠️
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.