Kid jokes
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.
Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.
Sans: Kid, I will kill you.
Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Dora, where do we go next?
Kids at home: Area 51.
Meanwhile,
Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.
1 day later,
Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!
Friends = your power level.
Emo kid = power level: 0000.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
Billy and Nanny have 2 kids.
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...