Kid jokes
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Memes
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*