Kid jokes
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
Me when my friend talks about a teacher blasting off on a kid
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
My wife left me and took the kids.
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.