Kid jokes
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?
"Daddy?"
Me: I want a PS5.
Dad: Alright, I will say no.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
this is me
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped? Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.