Kid jokes
Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?
Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
What’s kid Among Us?
Sugoma dik!
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
Time for double joke Tuesday.
What is a bird's favorite letter?
A C gull.
So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.
Kid: You're a dick, you know!
Me: And you're a pussy, you know?
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."