Kid jokes
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
I donβt see why emo kids donβt like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: πββοΈπββοΈπββοΈ
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
Whatβs a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.