Kid jokes
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday? They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
Why do emo kids not jump?
They're still in the sky.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!