Kid jokes

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?

The Mikey Jackson club.

How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?

M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.

What tree is every emo kid trying to find?

The hanging tree.

What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.

+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

Official Dj Penaldo playlist.

1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"

What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?

They both smell like "Teen Spirit."

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.

What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?

Coach.