Kid jokes
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
Memes
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"