Kid jokes
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?
Kids: Me!
Man: *unzips fly*
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”