Kid jokes

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

Why did the kid cry?

His dad didn't get the milk.

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

How many kids does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?

Kids: Me!

Man: *unzips fly*

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

What's that? said the orphans.

Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

What's the IJK?

I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!

The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."